The letter
by maia morris
Summary: The letters Jack and Kim had never gave to each other. Not related to my other fic, If you love me please don't go. Review/comment. T for language.


_Beep. Beep. BeEP. BEEP. _

"UuuuuuGGHHHGghgghh." A hand reached out from under the cornucopia of blankets to slap the sleep button on the alarm clock that was wailing bloody murder on the bedside table. The beeping stopped. A pair of brown eyes peeked out from under the covers to check the time. 5:30am. _Well, _Jack Brewer thought to himself, _Guess it's time for another long day._

_Look straight ahead. Don't smile. Just drink your coffee and go to your cubicle. _Jack Brewer hated his job. In fact, he hated it so much, he couldn't even remember what he even did. It was just a long chain of never ending routines that took place each day. He knew the schedule by heart. Sit down at your desk. Power up your computer. Write off some pointless emails to some clients across the country. Don't complain or roll your eyes when your bitchy boss comes to shit all over your half-assed reports. Jack's face remained placid for the entire day, emotionless. Empty. Like his heart. Truth is, he didn't have anything anymore. His life used to be exciting, adventurous, the life he wanted when he was a kid. When he had Kim. _Kim,_ he thought of her every minute. Her long blonde hair that she would toss over her shoulder, the look she gave him when he spouted idiotic ideas.. _Ding. _And all of a sudden, Jack's computer turns on. Like it's a sign. _Get over her._

Jack and Kim had been in love. They grew up together, keeping each other's backs on the playground, all up until junior year of high school where one party turned into the night that Jack's life changed forever. When Kim told him she was in love with him. And he pretended to be surprised, but he had known it ever since third grade when she had punched Billy Simon on the hop-scotch blacktop for making fun of a second grader with glasses. Jack and Kim had been in serious love. They went to the beach, and Kim would bury her legs and always get caught in the tide. They drove around at night and sing along to the radio. They made dreams together, stuff that people usually only think exist in movies. But they had it. Until Kim decided to leave Seaford. And not come back. And stayed in England. And cut off all contact with everyone, especially Jack. And after a year of waiting hopefully for her, Jack came down from their honeymoon high. And got a boring job, in a town he hated, with a shitty apartment.

_1: New Message. From: Mom. _

"Hey Jacky. Still trying to figure out how to use this phone thing. Just needed to tell you that a letter came for you in the mail today. It says it's from Kim Crawford..."

Jack never hit the answer button on his answering machine so fast. "Hey mom, yeah I'll be over there in a minute."

Twenty minutes later, he held a white envelope in his trembling, sweaty palms. Could he open it? Was he brave enough to read what she had written? What was inside it? He looked again at the loopy cursive writing. _Jack. _There was a stamp, but no return address. Just 'Kim Crawford' written at the top. Jack sighed, but it came out shaky and high pitched. He drove back to his apartment, where he engaged in a twenty minute staring contest with the folded piece of paper. _Fuck it,_ he thought, and drank a shot of whiskey before tearing into the envelope. Two pieces of paper fell out; one new and crisp, and another kind of yellow and old looking. He picked up the newer one first.

_Jack,_

_It's been a while. Cleaned out my house yesterday and found this. Remember, freshman year? When you almost moved to Japan? Throwback..._

_Kim._

Jack swallowed the lump in his throat. No 'love, Kim?' at the end? And of course he remembered. That was one of the most important moments of his life when he was asked to enroll in the prestigious Otai Academy in Japan for karate students. But he turned it down so he could finish school in Seaford and stay with his friends and family and Kim. But that's not what stuck out to him. What stuck out to him was the letters... The letters Jack and Kim had written each other when it seemed definite Jack was leaving. They both took them back at the last minute. Jack still had his somewhere in the boxes he didn't bother cleaning out. It was a long and detailed letter explaining his everlasting love for Kim and how it came to be. He had always wondered what Kim's had said, although it had been in the back of his mind. And now he held it in his hands, like a baby bird, so fragile and delicate. Yet at the same time, it could tear him to pieces. Slowly, Jack unfolded it. A photo fell out. It was of Kim and him at the sixth grade dance, Kim in a flowered skirt and tank top and him in jeans and a blue sweatshirt. They had their arms around each other and Kim was facing him, laughing at something he had just said. That was the night of their first slow dance. Jack carefully set it down on the table and tried to ignore the strain of tears pinching his eyes.

_Dear Jack,_

_Wow, I can't believe this day has actually come. You're leaving Seaford. And you're leaving Jerry and Milton and Eddy and Rudy and your parents. And you're leaving me. Sorry, this sounds really depressing, I know. But I wanted to let you know that I am really proud of you. And there's some other things I need to let you know as well. Jack Brewer, you are my best friend. And you have been since third grade. We've done everything together - all as friends. But now that you're leaving, I've been thinking about some stuff, and well... I am in love with you, Jack. I didn't even realize it at first but god, I am. And I know I'm a coward for telling you this in a letter, and not to your face, but I didn't realize how fast you'd be leaving me, how little time I had... Do you remember in fifth grade when we went to that wax museum on Halloween, and the statue of Elvis scared me because I thought it was watching me everywhere I went, and then you did your Elvis impersonation and started singing in his weird voice, and I laughed so hard I couldn't stand? Or the time when Frank bet you $10 to lick a block of blue cheese, and you couldn't do it so I covered for you and said that you were extremely allergic and that Frank should be ashamed of himself for almost getting you killed so he freaked out and left the $10 anyways and we split ice cream with it? These were all things best friends would do, except... with me and you, it was different. There was more, and you listen to me, Jack Brewer, I know you're reading this right now 10,000 feet above me and shaking your head and laughing at me but it is true. And don't you dare deny it. _

_Wow. 10,000 feet above me. You're so far away... I'm going to miss you, Jack. We all are. Finishing freshman year is going to suck. A lot. But we'll always keep you with us. In spirit. Wasabi forever._

_I love you,_

_Kimberly Ann Crawford._

The last few lines were a blur between the confused tears that were pouring out of Jack's eyes. He felt so many emotions, so raw, anger, sadness, betrayal, wanting... _Kim._ _Freshman year, so long ago.._ He thought back to the moment he decided 'no' to Otai and stayed with the gang for pizza and celebrations. He had sat down next to Kim, who smiled at him and clutched the letter in her hands even tighter. Jack subconsciously touched the letter in his pocket too, and they both opened their mouths as if to say something but all that came out was,

"This is good pizza."

"I know, right?"

Jack missed Kim. More than ever before. All this letter had done was opened up almost-healed wounds and poked at them. This letter didn't change anything, but Jack still dwelled on it. Was she thinking of him? Was she coming back? Is he going insane? But all that played in his mind was the sound of her saying his voice.

"Jack," The first time Kim had ever said it, in her high pitched voice in their new class with a missing front tooth and pigtails.

"Jack!" She yelled when he had fallen off his skateboard and broke his arm on a half pipe in eighth grade.

"Jack," She whispered to him in the movie theatre, where they spent the rest of the time making fun of the bad acting.

"Jack!" She cheered when he had beaten his opponent, who was also top ranked in California.

"Jack," She slurred out after her first party and had to be taken home and put to bed by Jack, who carried her all the way up the stairs to her room, where she insisted he sleep over.

"Jack," Her voice was serious, as if she was about to tell him she was in love with him. And she was.

"Jack," The last conversation they had ever had before she left.

"_Jack, _and _Dear Jack,_" How her two letters had started, and how they had broken the unbearably long silence between them.

"Jack," As he opened the door to his apartment at 3am, and she leapt into his arms, tears streaming down both their faces.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, still holding each other.

"I love you."


End file.
